I have worn glasses since I was 12 and contacts since age 15 in order to see well at a distance. I still think it is amazing that vision can be corrected, and, like many of you, I am grateful I don’t have to look at the world through blurry eyes. A few years ago, though, I began to notice an unwelcome change: Presbyopia. Even though my close-up vision is still fine without contacts, my over-40 eyes won’t allow me to see well up-close when my contacts are in.
In 2013, I saw my regular eye doctor’s new partner, just to get in quickly for my yearly exam. To my surprise, she said my vision had changed dramatically since my last appointment, moving me up an entire point in both eyes. This had never happened. Plus, she said my optic nerve was enlarged, and I would need a glaucoma test (which I didn’t do). When I got my new contacts, my close-up vision was much worse, starting me on a quest to find the right kind of lenses. I was never happy with them that year; so when I made my next appointment with my regular eye doctor, I asked for extra time, because I was going to be a high-maintenance patient. I had a lot of questions.
Thankfully, the doctor and his assistant were both very patient, and I left with all my questions answered. It turns out my optic nerve was fine and, here’s the kicker… his partner had put me in the wrong prescription the year before. It had actually not jumped at all. The WRONG PRESCRIPTION by a FULL POINT. (All we visually-challenged people know that’s a big deal). And I had gone over a year that way, believing what I was told without asking for another exam. But, this time I left with a plan. (I am now wearing mono-vision lenses and loving them…for anyone interested in the outcome). I am sure my family is growing tired of listening to me exclaim, “I can see!!” I just can’t get over it. Every experience seems a little richer because I can see clearly.
Sometimes we take a detour in life, either on our own or led by another, and end up with the wrong prescription. Maybe in hopes of an easier route or a quicker fix, we fail to meet with the One who knows us and loves us and is “intimately acquainted with all our ways” (Psalm 139). Even though a part of us knows we aren’t seeing properly, we let ourselves think this is as good as it gets. Believing the times of clarity are behind us, we settle for dim and blurry. We squint through our days thinking this is the way it has to be.
But what if it isn’t? What if our vision can be corrected? We might benefit from an appointment with our loving Savior—with extra time. He doesn’t even mind if we are high-maintenance. He will be patient as we present to him all of our worries, concerns, and questions. He never grows weary of us and His understanding is unsearchable! (Isaiah 40:28-29) And after we lay everything out, we can invite his examination: “Search me, O God, and know my heart: try me, and know my thoughts. See if there be any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting” (Psalm 139:24-24).
Even with the right prescription (JESUS), we can still have presbyopia…as well as loss, suffering, anxiety, and pain. Even with corrected vision and a heart obedient to God, we encounter dark periods. For those times, I love the Message version of 1 Corinthians 13:12 which speaks of eternity: “We don’t yet see things clearly. We’re squinting in a fog, peering through a mist. But it won’t be long before the weather clears and the sun shines bright! We’ll see it all then, see it all as clearly as God sees us, knowing him directly just as he knows us!”
And, we’ll all be shouting, “I can see!”
Jo is a Licensed Professional Counselor at St. Mark’s. You can reach her by phone (601- 259-1749) or email (.(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address)).
